Monday, February 23, 2015
Answered Prayers and Latest Developments!
Good Evening Friends,
This past Friday morning, at a bright and early 8:45am, Jason and I met with my oncologist, Dr. Assikis. The purpose of the appointment was to take note of my blood levels, address some significant side effects and hopefully to review results from the bone marrow biopsy done four days prior.
Jason and I have shared with many of you that my most recent CAT and Bone Scans have shown stability with no new cancer growths with the bone or on any other organs. While this is still the case, the bone marrow biopsy did provide additional discoveries that were at best, difficult to hear. I do have visible growth of cancer cells in my bone marrow. As it stands now 2/3 of my bone marrow is bothered with cancer. That then means that 1/3 is left for all other blood functions. This finding answers why I have not been able to produce red blood cells as well as maintain healthy blood levels. But this finding also challenges a peace I had found in "stable". Now, in the words of Dr. Assikis, "we have lost control of the cancer." And all of you who read this and know me, know I like control. I like stable. I like knowing what is to come. I like to plan for it, what ever it is. And the news of cancer growth was not what I had planned for. Well, really none of this since April 2013 is what I had planned for, envisioned, or even saw coming. But here I am Lord, what is next Lord?
This finding of new cancer in the bone marrow combined with the side effects I have recently been experiencing has led Dr. Assikis to make a change to my chemo regimen. With this change in the chemo prescription and with the modifications of a few medicines Assikis says that "he remains hopeful that now that we have been shown an area of concern as well as determined how to manage side effects that we have the resources to take back control of the cancer." He remains hopeful.
Later in the day, I was sitting down at the kitchen table. The girls had not returned home from school yet, so I was soaking up a few minutes of quiet reflection. Thinking about the day's events, I turned to scripture looking for any kind of affirmation, peace, or guidance. God blessed me with these words from Philippians. I have not read them with much attention apparently in the past, but today they were blaring off the page. "I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out of my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body." (These bold words are for me "feeling" words, they just make me feel what the other words around them are saying.)
And so there you have it...Friday's news was not cool. I am bummed. BUT -- I will REJOICE for I know that through YOUR prayers and the provision of the Holy Spirit everything that I am going through will one day be made good. I will be physically redeemed. And believe me I eagerly await that happening (some days more than others) and as I wait I will try to be hopeful and never ashamed but instead courageous and bold that Christ may be exalted in my life and the story of my journey. So, here's to today and tomorrow and the many more days to come! And here's to having good days and bad days! And here's to each of you for your faithful companionship, encouragement and love.
"Now to him, who is able to do immeasurably more than we can think of or imagine, within his will for me..." Ephesians 3:20
God, come and show off in me!
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Meals are More Than Food
Friends,
Last night our family dinner was wonderful. It was full of sharing, laughter, silliness, good manners, GOOD food, information, conversation, catching up, TOO MUCH food, excitement, joy, and love. Sitting with my loved ones made my heart swell with love, happiness and hope.
However, the special meal last night had me thinking about the value of a "regular" meal. You know, maybe not that Friday night pizza treat, or Sunday after church feast, but those meals that have to happen to keep families fed, and bodies strong and life going. These "regular" meals seem to happen every night; sometime around 6:00, the children appear famished and desire to eat!
As a wife and mother I understand that the meals my children and husband eat do matter. I mean, they will get hungry every day. And every day that I can I want to serve my family by providing their evening meal. Not sure why this task has become so important to me, other than I know when a meal is made and family has gathered around the table, memories are made. Surrounded by good food and seated together is when laughter happens, instruction and encouragement are shared, tears can be healed, celebrations happen over good news shared, behavior charts can be good or bad, and over spaghetti or taco a memory is etched in my girl's hearts forever. See why I think meals are more than food!
With that understanding, I want to admit that due to a recent increase in side effects affecting my mobility, daily strength, stamina, and walking, some days preparing a meal for my family has become a challenge. There have been days I have not been able to make the meal that is more than food! I have had to let go of expectations I had given to myself to provide such a service and gift to my family. In doing so, I have been sad. I want my family to eat well and good, I want us to be able to sit around the table and relish about the day, I want my children to try new foods, and enjoy old favorites - but I can no longer always provide that for them. My heart hurt. I just wanted to make a meal for my family; I wanted to feel as if I had served my family faithfully in this small way.
And then God moved! Friends began to re- ask me how they could love on our family and help me. I quickly realized that "yes", family meals were one important aspect of my life where I needed and would cherish the help. A call came and church members and friends offered to serve our family by providing weekday dinners. Those who love us (YOU - who are reading this!) were wanting to help in a tangible way and many have already signed up or brought meals already. And I want each of you to fully understand, the food you have prepared has been fantastic. We are being spoiled! Desserts, casseroles, pot roast, homemade goodies galore. It has been a gift. But what many who have and were or are willing to prepare a meal for my family to enjoy on weekday nights, is that while a human physical need of my family is met by your meal, you also give this mama's heart joy. You give an assurance to me that I don't have to do it all. Your meals show my girls that our friends and church family love us and will always be present for them. This they will need in latter years to and in some perhaps even soon - you have just planted early seeds. Your meals keep my hard-working, truly good husband a break from having to fill-in when I can't. With your meals you show love. You show care. You show help. You and your meal show us Jesus! Thank you! Your meals have been more than food!!!
To continue to help out by providing meals, or if you haven't had the chance to sign up yet check out this link and sign up. (www.takethemameal.com - you will need a login name (shocker! It is Newsome) and the password is 2015). www.takethemameal.com And a big shout out to Angela Chambers for getting the online schedule started! You are awesome! We look forward to seeing each of you at our house door, with your sacrificial goodies!
Thank you again. I am blessed.
With all my love - Jessica
Last night our family dinner was wonderful. It was full of sharing, laughter, silliness, good manners, GOOD food, information, conversation, catching up, TOO MUCH food, excitement, joy, and love. Sitting with my loved ones made my heart swell with love, happiness and hope.
However, the special meal last night had me thinking about the value of a "regular" meal. You know, maybe not that Friday night pizza treat, or Sunday after church feast, but those meals that have to happen to keep families fed, and bodies strong and life going. These "regular" meals seem to happen every night; sometime around 6:00, the children appear famished and desire to eat!
As a wife and mother I understand that the meals my children and husband eat do matter. I mean, they will get hungry every day. And every day that I can I want to serve my family by providing their evening meal. Not sure why this task has become so important to me, other than I know when a meal is made and family has gathered around the table, memories are made. Surrounded by good food and seated together is when laughter happens, instruction and encouragement are shared, tears can be healed, celebrations happen over good news shared, behavior charts can be good or bad, and over spaghetti or taco a memory is etched in my girl's hearts forever. See why I think meals are more than food!
With that understanding, I want to admit that due to a recent increase in side effects affecting my mobility, daily strength, stamina, and walking, some days preparing a meal for my family has become a challenge. There have been days I have not been able to make the meal that is more than food! I have had to let go of expectations I had given to myself to provide such a service and gift to my family. In doing so, I have been sad. I want my family to eat well and good, I want us to be able to sit around the table and relish about the day, I want my children to try new foods, and enjoy old favorites - but I can no longer always provide that for them. My heart hurt. I just wanted to make a meal for my family; I wanted to feel as if I had served my family faithfully in this small way.
And then God moved! Friends began to re- ask me how they could love on our family and help me. I quickly realized that "yes", family meals were one important aspect of my life where I needed and would cherish the help. A call came and church members and friends offered to serve our family by providing weekday dinners. Those who love us (YOU - who are reading this!) were wanting to help in a tangible way and many have already signed up or brought meals already. And I want each of you to fully understand, the food you have prepared has been fantastic. We are being spoiled! Desserts, casseroles, pot roast, homemade goodies galore. It has been a gift. But what many who have and were or are willing to prepare a meal for my family to enjoy on weekday nights, is that while a human physical need of my family is met by your meal, you also give this mama's heart joy. You give an assurance to me that I don't have to do it all. Your meals show my girls that our friends and church family love us and will always be present for them. This they will need in latter years to and in some perhaps even soon - you have just planted early seeds. Your meals keep my hard-working, truly good husband a break from having to fill-in when I can't. With your meals you show love. You show care. You show help. You and your meal show us Jesus! Thank you! Your meals have been more than food!!!
To continue to help out by providing meals, or if you haven't had the chance to sign up yet check out this link and sign up. (www.takethemameal.com - you will need a login name (shocker! It is Newsome) and the password is 2015). www.takethemameal.com And a big shout out to Angela Chambers for getting the online schedule started! You are awesome! We look forward to seeing each of you at our house door, with your sacrificial goodies!
Thank you again. I am blessed.
With all my love - Jessica
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