Monday, February 23, 2015
Answered Prayers and Latest Developments!
Good Evening Friends,
This past Friday morning, at a bright and early 8:45am, Jason and I met with my oncologist, Dr. Assikis. The purpose of the appointment was to take note of my blood levels, address some significant side effects and hopefully to review results from the bone marrow biopsy done four days prior.
Jason and I have shared with many of you that my most recent CAT and Bone Scans have shown stability with no new cancer growths with the bone or on any other organs. While this is still the case, the bone marrow biopsy did provide additional discoveries that were at best, difficult to hear. I do have visible growth of cancer cells in my bone marrow. As it stands now 2/3 of my bone marrow is bothered with cancer. That then means that 1/3 is left for all other blood functions. This finding answers why I have not been able to produce red blood cells as well as maintain healthy blood levels. But this finding also challenges a peace I had found in "stable". Now, in the words of Dr. Assikis, "we have lost control of the cancer." And all of you who read this and know me, know I like control. I like stable. I like knowing what is to come. I like to plan for it, what ever it is. And the news of cancer growth was not what I had planned for. Well, really none of this since April 2013 is what I had planned for, envisioned, or even saw coming. But here I am Lord, what is next Lord?
This finding of new cancer in the bone marrow combined with the side effects I have recently been experiencing has led Dr. Assikis to make a change to my chemo regimen. With this change in the chemo prescription and with the modifications of a few medicines Assikis says that "he remains hopeful that now that we have been shown an area of concern as well as determined how to manage side effects that we have the resources to take back control of the cancer." He remains hopeful.
Later in the day, I was sitting down at the kitchen table. The girls had not returned home from school yet, so I was soaking up a few minutes of quiet reflection. Thinking about the day's events, I turned to scripture looking for any kind of affirmation, peace, or guidance. God blessed me with these words from Philippians. I have not read them with much attention apparently in the past, but today they were blaring off the page. "I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God's provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out of my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body." (These bold words are for me "feeling" words, they just make me feel what the other words around them are saying.)
And so there you have it...Friday's news was not cool. I am bummed. BUT -- I will REJOICE for I know that through YOUR prayers and the provision of the Holy Spirit everything that I am going through will one day be made good. I will be physically redeemed. And believe me I eagerly await that happening (some days more than others) and as I wait I will try to be hopeful and never ashamed but instead courageous and bold that Christ may be exalted in my life and the story of my journey. So, here's to today and tomorrow and the many more days to come! And here's to having good days and bad days! And here's to each of you for your faithful companionship, encouragement and love.
"Now to him, who is able to do immeasurably more than we can think of or imagine, within his will for me..." Ephesians 3:20
God, come and show off in me!